Nisha sank her teeth into her favorite pastries and burgers. Lusie attended church regularly and indulged in shopping.
Richard frequented the gym and watched TV series. Anna tossed aside her boyfriend reminders and found new love.
Rita tried hard but fell into a downward spiral… for Sid it was alcohol and alcohol.
Break-up is PERSONAL so it affects each one differently. Your break-up experience and subsequent coping will depend on ‘who you are as a person’.
Pour out your feelings:
A break-up is an emotional wound so you must attend to it.
Share your breakup news with a loved one. Pour out all your feelings, fears, regrets and nostalgia. Talking will make you feel lighter.
Close your relationship file:
It’s time to close your relationship file… any last wishes?
You may choose to have that last heart-to-heart talk with your ex. You could choose to delete his/her memories or safeguard those memories in a safe place… and then LET GO.
Time-out from mourning:
Take a time-out from crying and bitterness. Allow yourself to indulge in what you enjoy. Your mind needs to feel good, so allow it.
Hang out with friends and indulge in pleasurable activities. Beware of losing your way into addiction or a rebound relationship.
Find your ‘single’ identity:
It is traumatic to let go of all shared experiences that you had with your partner. But it is the most important step in moving on.
Who are you without your partner? Find your strengths and passions. Explore new options. Make life plans and follow them.
Make meaning of your ex-relationship:
When you feel less emotional about your ex-relationship, you may review it:
What caused your relationship to crumble?
What could have been done better?
Which expectations were met and which were not?
What mistakes you wish to avoid now?
Your ex relationship teaches you about intimacy and about ‘you’. Absorb all those lessons. Beware of holding grudges or carrying “issues” which could interfere with your new love life.
A relationship is paradise
Break-up is a free fall
If it must happen, accept it
Cherish the goodness
Give up the bitterness
and move on…
Author -Shirley Menezes
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