What is a relationship?
As human beings, we are social beings, and we drive for love, connection, and compassion. A relationship is a border spectrum, and it is not limited to two people or a couple being together. There is a parent-child relationship, a teacher-student relationship, any employee-employer relationship, and many more.
A relationship is a partnership, not an ownership.
As a therapist, I can see and realize that many people struggle with forming healthy relationships. This blog is being written to help you understand and follow some of the points and understand the dynamics of relationships:
Checking out the other partner:
Often, in relationships, we feel confused as to understand or trust our partner fully. Why does this happen? Do you need to ask yourself? What does a relationship mean to you? How do I want my partner to be?
Every single person on this planet is unique and has his individuality. It would help if you were diligent in closely understanding your partner. Try to understand their personality, character, habits, words, actions, etc. Understand whether that person is there for you or not. This will help you to reduce the confusion and understand your partner in a better way.
Relationship Goals :
Don’t be too quick to fall in love. Take your time and understand each other. Both of you need to reflect on your thoughts and ideas and share your life goals. Often, a conflicting opinion can create problems in relationships. The tip is, don’t be too fast to fall for someone. There is no right or wrong. You have to make choices and choose your relationship type. But again, be transparent with what your goals are.
Don’t put on so many expectations on your partner. Be vocal, be open, and clearly state about what you feel and what you like and don’t like. Having a free and transparent conversation is an integral part of a relationship. A parent must develop confidence so that the child can speak anything he wants to. Similarly, a student should not be fearful of the teacher. Also, as partners, you need to learn to hear each other and value each other.
This is an important point. Don’t bring in your ego factor or “I know it all” attitude.
A healthy relationship involves a spirit of doing well for each other. As a husband, he can teach his wife how to drive the car. There should not be any domination of one being superior to the other. A relationship is a mutual connection between two people. It is never one-sided.
A healthy relationship will involve both helping each other grow. No person is more or less than the other. Please learn to respect each other. This is very important to develop the roots of a healthy relationship.
A relationship is being in a team :
A relationship is a choice and living it with someone is also a choice. People are having different personalities and having different life experiences. Don’t jump into a quarrel. Instead, sit and handle the situation more smoothly. Let us take office set-up, there are conflicts with two members. There can be multiple reasons why a conflict is taking place. May be the working environment is stressful because it could be one reason or there is a work-load. The next step can involve creating a space for inviting positive criticism. Having an open working culture will promote a positive working environment. Follow the tip of keeping a cool head. No matter how difficult the situation becomes, maintain professionalism and handle the situation assertively.
On the other hand, if you feel you are right, then be firm and take your stand. The point is to take action without getting overblown.
Some IMPORTANT TIPS
Don’t blame one another. It is because of you; you started it. Don’t say that. Act maturely. Both parties need to sit together and solve. A counselor is a perfect person to help you through the process; in a professional set-up, a manager can play the same role.
Listen to both sides. Must make a note that both should be given equal opportunity to speak and heard. Please don’t get swayed by the gossip and rumors in case of an office set-up. The manager should sit with both individuals and make sure that no biases or preferences are used. A fair and equal treatment has to adhere.
You must understand that when there is a conflict on any issue, The state of mind is wondered in another direction, and emotions always go on an upper note. Please avoid bringing in name-calling, accusations, character-assassinations,
It would help if you thought before you speak as the repercussions will have to be borne by you only. Practicing and learning about dealing with negative feelings can help in such a case. There is an exercise of emotional regulation that can be followed up. Stonewalling is worse and can worsen the situation even more. Sit, relax and solve the problem.
Respect, respect, respect Inside and outside the relationship, act in ways so that your partner always maintains respect for you. Mutual respect is essential to a good and fair relationship.
Accommodate to new Changes. There are no fixed rules to follow or live life a certain way. Unlike the old times, now the time is changing, and many couples don’t submit to the traditional system of living and rather live life on their terms. To have a healthy relationship, it is essential to be flexible and accommodate new changes. Developing and understanding towards each other supporting one another is a crucial tip that can help.
The Relationship Types
- PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP:- A counselor can help the parent to understand their child. A child may find it hard to express themselves so that the counselor can assist in counseling. Most often, we try to keep the child in order. Let a child be a child. A child will be playful and cause mess and destruction on the house, but it is normal and let the child be. Every child is a scientist who is experimenting or trying something new. Another approach that can be set in is about family counseling. For the entire family to be happy, all have to come up together and live together. A counselor can help provide a safe space for the family and counsel the entire family in a non-judgmental way.
- Friendship:- Well, this can sound rare, but we all have that special best friend in our life. It is a beautiful bond of independence and dependence. A friendship is an emotional platonic relationship that needs to be appropriately regulated. A typical pattern that I have noticed is called emotional estrangement. There is a mix of emotions and many things that simultaneously go in the mind. It feels like you want to run away, or you want to pause and wait and pray it gets better. There is agony, confusion, and frustration, which built in. There is a lot of hurt from both ends. Well, I am not promoting myself, but a therapist is a professional who has the expertise to deal with and process the situation. Taking it out does not help; involving the third party is a bad call as bias and judgment always come. Fighting alone is possibly also not a good idea. It is good to talk to each other, but consulting a therapist can surely help you regain and bounce back if your relationship is on a red line.
- Boyfriend and Girlfriend:- The younger generation tends to be more physiological, educated, and informed. Seeking couple therapy is not only limited to a marriage, but a couple can also visit a counselor. As a therapist, I would say people come to therapists when the bridge is already crossed, and a lot of damage is already done. Forming the base of a healthy relationship from the starting can help well rather than pushing it to years and years. A counselor can help keep the romance, passion, and friendship alive. A common issue in the couple in their 20’s especially is whether to get married or not. After coming for therapies, you can yourself feel the change; instead of drifting away, there will be an open space, and with the help of a counselor, you will be able to break down and find the solutions for the problems. It is best to talk to each other about your hope and fears.