The day that was most memorable for me once had suddenly, turned into the most unfortunate one.
I was in the final semester of my management school when the first job letter was placed in my hands. At a young age of 24, this achievement made me feel at the top of the world. The career-oriented girl that I was, it gave a new boost to my confidence. I never looked back since then.
Love struck when I was 30. Travelling across the globe, meeting people from different cultures and managing things on my own had already made me fiercely independent. So when he proposed marriage to me, I simply laughed.
But parental pressure and his persistence made me change my mind. We finally married after dating for a few years. Life was good. We respected each other’s schedules and adjusted accordingly.
And then the inevitable happened. It was close to my 37th birthday. In the wee hours of a winter morning I felt uneasy and puked. Fearing the most obvious, I did the preg test with trembling hands. Various thoughts crossed my mind in an instant- career, social life, pregnancy, being out of shape, diapers, sleepless nights and so on. I panicked.
The test came out negative, though and I heaved a sigh of relief. But that was not relief. That was actually beginning of a vicious cycle of intense emotional pain.
I couldn’t sleep that night. Those few moments of probable conception had aroused a deep instinct inside me. ‘Will I actually enjoy being a mother?’, I asked myself.
“Career, social life, pregnancy , being out of shape, diapers, sleepless nights, my high flying life style “
What was I after? Where did I want to reach? When will I be satisfied?
I had no clear answers.
I just wanted to be a mom.
Author :DrNidhiJhamb
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